When in love, we willing intertwine ourselves with our beloved. We adapt to their way life, their social groups, likes and dislikes. We cater to their needs and desires, often neglecting our own. We do this because we love them and we want the best for them. We want to see them happy and will do all we can to make them pleased, comfortable, fulfilled and desired, regardless of how this impacts our own feelings or experience. This is what an empath does when in love, an empath that has not yet realized their own brilliance, their own strength, an empath that has yet to appreciate their own worth.
There is an unfortunate magnetic attraction between an empath with unrealized worth and a narcissist. You see, an empath is the perfect prey for this variety of human. The narcissist will never bend or mold their life or beliefs, or actions to accommodate or compromise with others, not even their “beloved.” Perhaps, especially not for their “beloved.” I use the quotation marks because it is not possible for the narcissist to truly love without the agenda of control, manipulation and ownership. Their fixed mindset of manipulation gives them an almost super human ability to spot an empath with unrealized self-worth.
The narcissist must be right at all times and from their perspective if they are right then someone else is wrong. They need a constant outlet to project their shortcomings onto, someone they can blame for all their woes and someone who will worship them as the hero they try to convince themselves they are. A romantic partner is the perfect target, someone they have constant access to, someone they can methodically romance, blind, and convince they are their savior, their master, the reason they live and breathe. And as time goes by, the romancing is replaced with the implanting of false narratives, insults and accusations that lead the empath to believe they are not worthy of love from anyone.
Any truly self respecting person would see through the narcissist’s bullshit and their attempt to dominate would fail. The narcissist does not accept failure and therefore preys on the wounded.
Although wounded, the empath possesses a strength the narcissist could never attain, and after a long battle of survival, the empath awakens. This is truly a miracle, a beautiful gift from the Heavens, a saving grace befalls the integrous soul. This miracle comes in many forms, the messengers, angels on Earth, many unaware that they have freed the trapped from her cage. The empath opens her eyes and sees the light, and finally sees that it is emanating from her.
Once the illuminated empath awakens, it may be years before she is able to unshackle her chains, leaving is a battle all its own. And when she saves herself, escaping with her children huddled close, she must then find the key to the chains that still weigh her down, still drag on the ground with a sound so loud she can barely hear her own voice. Chains that threaten to strangle, drowning in this new battle of independence, struggling to breathe.
It is the narcissist’s voice that echos in her head like the haunting of an ominous cold winters wind howling fiercely ready to blow over any new thoughts or ideas she may have…about herself.
But yet again the empath survives, she fights, she shouts louder than the damn wind.
And, she heals.
She finds the key…
In her beautiful, sensitive, empathetic heart, where it’s always been.