Updated: May 19, 2022
I awoke with a gasp and pounding heart. Images of my daughters faces watching in terror and agony as they lit the fire around me filled my mind. Had I been asleep? Was this a dream? No, they were memories. Memories surfacing in the mystical space between dreaming and awake.
The memories of this life long ago had been coming into my consciousness at various times during my day for at least a week. I felt the fear and grief of the trauma experienced some four-hundred years ago and the lines between then and now began to blur. It was just a normal Tuesday, filled with domestic tasks, taking care of my kiddos, running errands. But I could not shake the intrusive images popping up or the rush of emotion that accompanied them.
I felt that I was in Scotland in the 1600’s. I lived in the woods with my husband and two young daughters. We had a peaceful life. I was very much in love with my husband and we were able to live off the land in our little cottage. I saw myself roam through the forest with my daughters, teaching them of the plants, which where edible, which were poison and which were medicine.
I remembered performing rituals and ceremonies with my family that were passed down to me from the Celtic spiritual beliefs that were in place before the reform to Christianity became law. We loved and honored the Earth, all her creatures and the many loving Spirits that surrounded us. We were practicing what had been labeled as sinful witchcraft, but there was no darkness here, just a misunderstanding of a scared way of life once held dear to the nation’s inhabitants.
Our peaceful existence was shattered one evening as our door was busted down and men in armor called for the witch. I hid with my two daughters as my husband tried to fight the men off. I was able to escape with my daughters out the back of the cottage. My husband lost his life fighting for ours. I continued to run and hide with my daughters. And although I had knowledge of how to live in the wilderness, the cold weather and lack of food was taking its toll and I feared we would not survive.
I made the decision to go into the city so that my girls could eat and have shelter. I hoped that I could remain unnoticed in the bustle of the city. We were able to find shelter and food and even domestic employment. But it wasn’t long before someone recognized me. It was unclear to me through my memories how I was identified, but I remembered when the men came and drug me away. My next memory was of being tied to a wooden stake surrounded by straw. I was on a wooden stage with a Man who was telling the snarling crowd of my evil ways. My focal point was to the left of me where my two young daughters stood crying and screaming for them to let me go. My eyes never left them and I tried not to scream as the flames ignited my skirt.
I was full of pain and worry, not from the fiery death I was sentenced to, but the pain my daughters were experiencing. I felt guilt for brining this onto my family, and so much fear of the agony this event would cause them. I didn’t want to leave them alone in this environment of judgment, hatred and damnation. I prayed for my daughters to be spared as my soul left my body.
On a normal Tuesday afternoon in 2020, I sat on my backyard lawn and asked for the reasons of this memory resurfacing to be revealed. I had grief over loosing my husband and daughters some 400 hundred years ago, and so much anger at the ignorance and cruelty of humanity. As I sat in silence, I knew that this anger and grief was still stuck in my energy field and it was ready to be released. First I had to forgive myself and honor the fact that I did not put my family in danger intentionally since this event had been out of my control. I then had to extend forgiveness to everyone involved in the incident. And although these acts are of unforgivable proportions, I asked Spirit to help me forgive it all, even the unforgivable.
This forgiveness healed my wounded soul, and also healed my ancestral lineage. My maiden name is Nesbit. My bloodline goes back to passionate supporters of the Calvinist movement in Scotland. In fact, one Minister John Nesbitt is historically documented as being an activist for the Calvinist movement during the time of the witch hunts in Scotland. A branch of Christianity, Calvinist’s propelled the witch hunts. Minister John Nesbitt was exiled from Scotland for demonstrating too much “Protestant zeal.” My soul chose to incarnate into the very bloodline of those who had supported my persecution. By accepting and forgiving myself, and my ancestors, I am able to assist in healing two sides of a trauma.
After I put intention into forgiveness the gifts began to appear. My spirit guides told me that in this life I am able to express my spirituality and connection with nature without the fear of persecution. My guides then revealed that my daughters in that lifetime are my two very best friends in this lifetime. Even more beautiful is that we have all gone into spiritually based careers. We now have a chance to share our knowledge, love, and curiosities about the spiritual realms in full public view while supporting one another.
The purpose of this memory resurfacing was to heal old wounds and eliminate fears that still persisted from that time. I feel a freedom to be fully who I am, and not hide from the public, for I know I am meant to be seen and heard in this lifetime. I know I am fully supported and protected in doing so. While there are times it is challenging to walk in multiple lifetimes simultaneously, it is such a blessing and a gift to be able to identify where specific fears originated and be able to heal old wounds that have no place in my current life. We are here to learn and evolve and to truly know we are eternal. There is part of us that is never damaged or broken. We have the ability to heal and be whole again.